Category Archives: Projects to be tamed

Books, movies, short films ideas in the works

A Space Between Lovers

The space between two lovers. Not distance, for there is no distance between this kind of love. More a space to breathe, observe and admire. A space to grow.

As she walks up the stairs into his home it is as if her clothing evacuates her body. One piece at at time she sheds the personality she has chosen for the day. For this is how she dresses each day, based on her mood, her feelings and her persona. However, in his presence she can only exist in her truest form. For her there is no hiding from him, not even behind a thread. First her shoes one at a time. Every step she takes in front of him relieves her of the mask she wears and the shields she has put up to protect herself. Next her shirt would seem to rise above her with a sort of effortless wave of energy and then vanish, in a kind of spiral upward and away. As she continues exploring her surroundings, getting a feel for his space she can feel him everywhere. She absorbs his scent and his mood, as she steps out of her jeans, which seem to be just barely resting on her narrow hips. In 2 more steps the jeans are gone, evaporating like a mist. Still she does not make eye contact, because in that moment, when their eyes meet and their souls touch, there is only surrender. With a wispy and fluid movement she releases her skin from the confinement of her under garments, and there she stands in full regale…the Goddess she knows she is! In this space, in his space she is fully in the light. He is the place that reveals this gift to her. It is her own mission, to know it in her heart and soul.

For him this seems to be all in slow motion. This is the magic of true lovers. He is not lost in her, he is found. Like the yin/yang symbol, there is no line dividing them only an observation of the closeness. A reflection. Connected and separate at the same time, one the eternal balance of the other.

He is an artist and is taking it all in. Pulled equally from desire. His desire to take her and his desire to capture the way that she moves, breathes, they way she enlivens the space around her…to attempt to capture her essence so that he can lay it on a canvas. As a painter you cannot paint what you do not know. To truly tap into artistry you must experience your expression before you can be satisfied with its unveiling. You must know the subject intimately. His desire to absorb more and to know more is overwhelming. Choosing seems an impossible task and an en devour he has spent lifetimes preparing for. Her movements hold memories of the past and the future. To him she is rhythmic and has an artistry in her gestures that his mind can not fathom, yet his heart and soul understood eternally. His sensibilities stunned and mesmerized. Being in control is his armor and it melts at the sight of her. The journey of a warrior is upon him.

She stands there for a moment feeling more at home than she has ever know. Naked, bold and finally free. He asks her to stand there a moment. When he asks her for something it’s not like a request or a demand…more of a shared mission of respect, from centuries of trust. He gets his camera and takes a few photos to attempt to capture what he sees with his eyes, what he senses and what he feels in her presence. Of course the photos are not enough. He must touch her with his hands, his lips, his body…his soul. The minutes turn in to hours, the moments themselves seem insatiable. Its a never ending circle of pleasure. There is a trust that is deeply rooted, rooted in an ancient love story.

This is the key to healthy sexuality. Trust. Trust that the other person sees you and hears you. Not just with their eyes and ears but with their senses. The arch of you body, the desire to give or receive, the sound of your response to their action and reaction is seen as a tantric dance. They sense your thoughts. What they take for themselves you receive, what you give you receive. A constant balancing flow of giving and receiving. A place of reflection so that each may know themselves intimately. A sacred space for lovers to unfold and reveal their own divine nature.

Mind Your Own Business-Sin

God does not have a personality. He is not offended/bothered/happy/sad about your choices.
In A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle he states that to sin is “to miss the mark”. Understanding sin this way frees me from guilt. (which is a whole other animal). The universe does not make a connection between good/bad. They are all your choices/experiences. These experiences do not define you. They guide you.

Mind Your Own Business-

As my marriage was ending my liberation was beginning…my emotional evolution. I realized that people aren’t “who they are” they are “where they are”. And sometimes you’re on a very bumpy part of your path… And sometimes you’re on a smooth part. The bumpy parts create awareness. Just like driving on the freeway and you encounter a rough surface and your attention and awareness becomes very present.

Your experiences arm you for your life’s journey. The old saying “a reason, a season or a lifetime”…things grow and then fall away…we never truly possess anything or another person. The gift is what is left behind after the experience. Is it pain? Did it leave a scar that will toughen you up for an even harder experience, so that you will have the courage, strength and stamina to make it through. Did it soften your heart. Did it open your eyes…do you have a new perspective.

All we can ever hope to do is know the person in front of us as they are this very second. People always say that all that we have is the present moment… I seem to understand and grasp that more and more every day. I realize that I change everyday… I have new opinions and new inspirations and new ideas. So certainly my loved ones, friends and acquaintances have the same experience. I am attempting to know everyone I come encounter with as they are right now with no expectation. I’m not saying this happens all the time it is most definitely a practice… And sometimes I fall off the wagon. But it’s worth it… And so are you.

Mind Your Own Business- Bowling

Are you excited to see your loved ones grow or are you worried they won’t grow the way you think they should? 
Do you have expectations for their future? Why?
 Be like the bumpers at a bowling alley…guide your children safely…allow them to use their own approach and direction. We have no real idea what our purpose in our loved ones lives is…
sometimes it’s to uplift sometimes it’s to knock down
? To be a tool or a catalyst in their lives. I have recognized that I grow more from the negative examples…from the people that create friction in my world. From suffering. Of course we hope that people will be kind to us…and they are flawed broken and struggling at times themselves. Forgive them for they know not what they do. And my greatest suffering revealed my greatest emotional evolution. Are your actions selfish or cosmic?
Be authentic
! You are made perfectly! 
Evolve organically and those around you can evolve as well.

“Your children are not your children.
 They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
 They come through you but not from you, 
and though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts, 
for they have their own thoughts. 
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, 
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
 You may strive to be like them, 
but seek not to make them like you.
 For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
 as living arrows are sent forth.
 The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, 
and he bends you with his might 
that his arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness; 
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, 
so he loves also the bow that is stable.”
The Prophet 
On Children
Kahlil Gibran,

Mind Your Own Business

After making a specific choice, one that was somewhat controversial. I was concerned about what other people might think of me after the decision. After feeling the anxiety of should I have? or should I not have? I settled into some peace. I felt like it was more important for me to be concerned with how I felt about the choice… Instead of other people’s acceptance or disapproval. Because Of course, depending on what kind of day they may have had or their past or current experiences or their ego…none of which I’m in control of. Their judgement/opinion/observation would be biased.

Not to mention that my opinions change daily at times with the addition of a new awareness.

Walking Behind the Girl in the Bikini Contest

Autobiography of a woman to be…
Who knew such an inspiring insight could occur on just a normal day. I remember taking my friend to her finals round of a bikini contest. Her in her Lycra minidress. Me in full on the western gear… boots, hat, belt, long-sleeve shirt and jeans. And the difference it made to walk just a few steps behind her…a few more than usual. It was my first observation at 21 at how men will look at a woman with desire and appreciation or just down right lust. I remember distinctly having two emotional experiences. One of pure jealousy and one of disgust. “Why is he looking at her like that”, “Why isn’t he looking at ME like that”. If you know me at all, I most always have two decidedly differing opinions about any one topic. I usually try to blame it on my Gemini nature. It is both a blessing and a curse, of course. (Opposing)
I recognize that this dual opinion/experience that I live with constantly, serves me well at work and socially. I’ll Reference Sun Tzu’s…The Art if War. Knowing yourself is half the battle. It allows me to accept people, their situation and their circumstances without judging. I have a broad perspective in things…and often have a difficult time labeling something good/bad. I tend to see the best qualities and everyone I’m around. If course I realize their struggles as well.

And on this topic I will admit that sometimes your super power at work will not always be your superpower in your personal home life. This whole dating situation for example…
I meet a guy and instantly I have empathy for his shortcomings. Because I understand he’s had struggles, we all do. I’m drawn to people who are struggling because this is their chance to springboard to some spiritual growth…a new awareness. But it’s okay to send them packing if they like to bite. And when I say bite it’s an unusual amount of biting. I am learning that I don’t need to adopt them all and they don’t need me to help them heal that is their journey. However, I am super excited to be a witness and I hope that there is one I do get to keep that will want my greatest good as I want theirs.

Mind Your Own Business-Projection

Projection is not a defense mechanism…it is a tool for consciousness! A gift! When you become aware of projection you have the ability to use it to evolve and to make yourself aware of your own places that need attention. When you make a judgment about someone else, turn it back around and see where in your life you might be making the same choices. Maybe not the same scenario but in another area of your life.

When will you be ready to look within to turn the projection back on yourself

when you are ready to stop defending yourself…get humble… Observe. Other people are reflecting back to you… What do you see? What Bothers you? What makes you uncomfortable? There is a piece of you an aspect there that is similar. Are you asking everyone else to change so that you can be comfortable with what you are seeing!? How is that working for you? (thank you Dr. Phil).

Playing with Portuguese

Decided to start learning Portuguese today…via Duolingo app!

Inspired by a film I love!
O Homem do Futuro
The Man From the Future
By writer/director
Cláudio Torres

And my favorite book The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho from Brazil. My plan is to read the original novel.

A girls gotta have inspiration!!

I am in love…with Portuguese! I’m 5 days in and I’m digging it. I realize I may not be able to use it much, however I am charmed by the sounds.

And believe it or not I have mentioned it to several people and it seems like everyone knows someone who speaks Portuguese. Lucky me.

So at this point I’ve been learning for about a month now.
Approximately 20 minutes every day (mostly every day).

I have learned two things about myself…

1). I am definitely visual… Recalling spelling and placement is relatively easy for me… However this is not necessarily news…I am a hairdresser am drawn to design… Form over function. Fun over need.

2). This practice has opened my eyes to the actual definition of “practice”.

To do something expecting to fail a few of the times (or many many times)… not always succeeding until you Master it.

Discipline is not something I am always good at naturally. By learning Portuguese I am attempting to push through that barrier… matter how long it takes me.

Tai Chi is next!