All posts by Amy Fitzgerald

Evolving consciousness since the year 2000. Nonconformist. Detached from the Matrix. I don't pretend to "know" anything... AND I hope to share what ever goodness I uncover along my journey. I'm workin' it out online...join me.

Remember that time I stalked you!

After my last post I had a bit of an epiphany that helped me see that relationship with more clarity, more humor. On this Twin Flame path you must have laughter to survive it can be a total mindfuck! Because your energy is their energy and vice versa, if you crucify yourself for your actions they will crucify you as well. If you laugh and love your self so will they. The mirror is a perfectly clear one. One day we might look upon this with a different lens, at the comedy of it. And you do know how much comedy and tragedy enjoy to play. It will go a little like this…Remember that time I was stalking you!?!?! Do yo know how they say love isn’t just going to come an knock on your door! Well it did…and thats what I was thinking when I did it. “I am here, I have all of this love for you and I have been so scared to tell you about it. Finally I have climbed these steps which seem like mountains and I am here standing at the top of this hill (porch) ready to share my body mind and soul. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK..Let me in so I can love you…LOL!” And in you eyes you were probably thinking,”what the actual fuck?!?!? Why is this girl I had sex with SEVERAL times and had amazing moments of emotional and spiritual intimacy with stalking me”. And you were actually scared of me and thinking I was a lunatic! Unconditional love actually came to your door and sent you a letter and you said…NAH…Im good! That is how deeply distorted things were back then. Or maybe it wasn’t that way at all maybe you saw how brave I was to go after what I wanted…brave and fearless. Brave to carry out such a grand gesture. Who knows…I look forward one day to knowing exactly how it showed up to him. I have a great deal of clarity. However, clarity and knowing with out anothers acceptance…well its a little like stalking…stalking with love.

Endings Bring New Beginnings

There is a New Moon today so its a time of powerful manifesting 1/18/2018. The numbers are strong for today’s intention. I have read the 8 is the most balanced number and it is the great karmic equalizer. Also, 2018 is said to be an 11(2+0+1+8=11) year, a Master Year, I could definitely use a year of Mastery after the last two years. So with all the power and energy of the number 1 magnified again by doubling it to 11 I release the past and call in a completely New Beginning. I have healed and healed and healed some more. I move forward with treasures and surrender the rest to the Universe. I call in romance, friendship, partnership, sacred sexuality, love, empowerment, creativity, joy, bliss, simplicity, and harmony.

There is a person close to my heart that I have desired a relationship with in the past that has eluded me. I reached out one more time today to see if perhaps there was a new opening. There was not response…I might actually be blocked but I am kind of proud of that in a way because I have been such a rule follower and afraid to do the wrong thing in life and if I did something wrong in this relationship so be it…it took action for my owen heart. In the past he had been in another relationship and I would reach out from time to time as friend meaning not disrespect for that relationship just in honor of my heart felt desire to touch base. I see now that it was not my place at this particular time to seek engagement. So with him and the relationship he may be in I offer ho’oponopono, I meant no disrespect and harm to the love and connection they share.

I now set this person free for I love him dearly and desire his true happiness. I set my self free from thinking I must grasp and seek love. Loving unconditionally is only part of it…expressing unconditionally is the other part. In the past I held on to something that was not presented to me, was not offered to me. I was not invited to build or create relationship with this person it was something that I was grasping at. I see now that as much as I was desiring this relationship it was not available to me. I was chasing and responding to a dream not the current reality. I am beginning to grasp how law of attraction really works. I am beginning to find my footing. I am beginning to be fully present and grounded in this reality, in this moment. Its asking for it and then letting it go, not choosing the person and running after them. Its trusting the I will receive the love I deserve and if it is not currently in my life, its on its way. Setting if free. Letting it manifest in the right time, if it is meant to be it will be. I had lost trust in myself and in GUSS, thinking that I had do everything right in order to receive such a gift, the gift of divine Love.

The other side of this coin is that in the past I held such remorse for never sharing my true feelings. Sure, I wrote him an 8 page hand written letter that probably made me sound insane. Unsure of how it was received by the him. Did he receive it like a love letter, like the rantings of a stalker or mad woman, or just unwanted and uncomfortable gestures of affection. We never spoke of it and in fact later he told me he shredded it. I’m pretty sure I punched him although a part of me thinks there is no way he did that. Many times after “the letter” I found myself in his presence, enchanted and paralyzed. Because of my own fears of rejection I did not speak my heart, perhaps I even withheld it for I knew it might shatter me if it was not accepted. I endured great pain at the thought of this being the reason I was not invited into this persons life as a friend or partner, always seemingly on the outskirts of his experience and/or his heart. Because I was not brave enough. There has been no greater pain (and the tears flow now even as I type this) than not sharing my heart with him, deep remorse. I am not even sure there was ever a desire or an opening on his part, we never really spoke about it. I just know I would go back a thousand times and speak my truth, not matter the outcome. Rejection is not my greatest fear, its not creating the opening, not being brave enough to ask for a shot at sharing an adventure together. This has been a hard learned lesson and the next time I am presented with an opportunity to share any part of my heart I will not hold back. This goes with my family, friends, acquaintances and any romantic love interest that presents itself.

I have released this pain, this lesson…I have however kept the nugget. That I deserve love for just being here, for existing. Because I was created from Source energy I am loved because I am LOVE. I do not need to look outside of my self any longer. I know that in this particular relationship that it is all about self love. I have learned to love myself truly, deeply and passionately. Love all ways. I am now ready to share and receive because I am whole. I can share my heart because it is overflowing. I hold no fear of rejection because I accept myself, body, mind and spirit and I ready to receive with a wide open heart. I am Love and so it is that I attract LOVE.

So…the Ending is letting go. Prying my fingers loose and letting the Universe bring me what it will. Ending my expectation, my control and desire to manage, because its more fun to just be surprised and enjoy the ride. To listen to my heart and respond in kind from this day forward. An ending of my old fearful patterns and the beginning of a heart inspired future. And you can bet money that the next time I get to spend time with this gorgeous soul I will inquire about the true status of that letter.

Free at last!

Here we go…in honoring that my beloved and I are already one, We send this blessing forward to all who desire to connect with this message. We send it on the waves of the upcoming Eclipse and expand it to the far reaches of everywhere known and unknown.

The cosmic energy and astrology at this time are creating the making for a giant portal of release. During this rare time in our ascension I choose to fully engage in the release of all energies of fear without suffering and in the blink of an eye. I command complete freedom. Total and complete purification and eradication of fear from my body, mind and spirit. All aspects of my soul will now vibrate at the frequency of unconditional Love. This means that I AM in all ways responding from a place of unconditional pure love, to my self, my surroundings and in all things. Existing on this planet and throughout all time, space and every reality as the piece of pure source energy that I AM created from. Aligned with all aspects of my soul functioning in perfect harmony. There is not room for fear in any aspect. The energies of shame, guilt, judgement, doubt, victimization, greed, lack, grief, insecurity, unworthiness, boredom, anger, sorrow, blame, bitterness, apathy, dread, worry, impatience, lack of faith/trust in our creator and ourself or any other low vibrating frequency of fear is banished from all of my realities. I command that every person I come in contact with is aligned to this same freedom if they so choose it…instantly and without suffering. Allow the final Release of what was to rise out of you and receive the light of the new. Divine alignment for all at their highest good. Open up and let go as these waves of energy wash away the past and align the present moment, creating a future of freedom in unconditional LOVE.
I AM a Divine Being of pure Light and Love all ways and forever.

The Key to Life…

I have always said that I was going to write a book and it would be titled THE KEY TO LIFE and on every page it would say that same thing…BALANCE. Balance is the key to life. Particularly regarding Lack and Abundance…there is no lack there is only an imbalance of abundance. Abundance needs lack as well to create…you guessed it…BALANCE!

Dearly Beloveds

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this lesson in love. Revealing where we are not in a state of self love is a brilliant gift. I honor what you have come to share with me at this part of our journey. I NOW release you and I from this path that we have been walking. All of you that have been in a charge of revealing to me this place of doubt in myself are now cut and released from service. I claim my powers both masculine and feminine. Both are now equally and completely animated with divine source energy. And so it is!!!!

For You!

On your sacred journey, I pray that the winds blow away the fog and clear your path. That the rustling of the trees whisper the name that is calling you home. That the stillness allows you to hear the stirring echo of your destiny. That you allow the animals to assist in guiding you through the dark places, the rough terrain and when you are just too tired to carry-on. That the waters guide you effortlessly to your source. The rain purifies, the ocean waves knock away the edges, that the lakes and streams carry you gently forward. As you bathe in the sacred waters of Mother Earth’s pools, like amniotic fluid it is inhaled into your entire being, facilitating your rebirth. Let the sun nourish you and warm your heart, body and soul. Allow it to burn away the veils that blind you from knowing your Divinity. That the moon heal, comfort and cool you with her luminescence. Allow her pull to humble you. As you bow to that thing that is greater than us, that thing we cannot fathom yet know so well to the depths of our soul, that thing that scares us because of how wonderful it feels, that thing that offers us unconditional love in the purest form. Bow so that you may receive your blessings from your Creator. So that your Creator may remove what you have carried for so long and align you on your sacred mission. Source wants to remind you that you came to lead not to follow the ways of mankind. Those who feel that their strength is in holding and carrying the burdens of others, when it is really to be surrendered to your source so that your journey may be full of joy, peace, happiness, leisure and love as you walk through paradise. As you kneel down in the dirt I ask that you feel the pulse of mother Earth flow through your veins. Like a transfusion you are relieved and cleansed of the ways of old, the old templates, the old paradigms. That you inhale the fragrance of Divine’s love for you as it permeates your every cell to align your vibration and frequency to pure unconditional love.

When the dawn breaks and you slowly rise…seeing yourself clearly, feeling whole, hearing the call of your beloveds heart, sensing your own powerful presence, knowing that you have overcome many obstacles and now understand why. The truth revealed, your soul healed and your wisdom and memories restored. You are suddenly aware that it is all as it should be. That you are a phoenix rising. You then turn towards the morning sun with purpose and mission. As you look to the side and see your partner there standing with you, as they have been since the beginning of time. You take their hand and walk forward in your mission. Knowing it is time now to step over the threshold of the old masculine/feminine roles and step in to the new divine masculine/feminine essence of being pure LOVE. It is what you both came for.
and so it is ??!!!

Your Beloved

Know! Know! KNOW!

No amount of anyone else’s knowing can rival your own. They can only know anything about you and your journey through their own shields, visual lens, emotional blocks and hearing filter. They observe your universe through their own personal experience. KNOW who you are, what you feel, see, hear and sense. KNOW you are the master of your own ship. KNOW others can only lead you down their path or point to yours. KNOW your ship! KNOW your soul!

A Space Between Lovers

The space between two lovers. Not distance, for there is no distance between this kind of love. More a space to breathe, observe and admire. A space to grow.

As she walks up the stairs into his home it is as if her clothing evacuates her body. One piece at at time she sheds the personality she has chosen for the day. For this is how she dresses each day, based on her mood, her feelings and her persona. However, in his presence she can only exist in her truest form. For her there is no hiding from him, not even behind a thread. First her shoes one at a time. Every step she takes in front of him relieves her of the mask she wears and the shields she has put up to protect herself. Next her shirt would seem to rise above her with a sort of effortless wave of energy and then vanish, in a kind of spiral upward and away. As she continues exploring her surroundings, getting a feel for his space she can feel him everywhere. She absorbs his scent and his mood, as she steps out of her jeans, which seem to be just barely resting on her narrow hips. In 2 more steps the jeans are gone, evaporating like a mist. Still she does not make eye contact, because in that moment, when their eyes meet and their souls touch, there is only surrender. With a wispy and fluid movement she releases her skin from the confinement of her under garments, and there she stands in full regale…the Goddess she knows she is! In this space, in his space she is fully in the light. He is the place that reveals this gift to her. It is her own mission, to know it in her heart and soul.

For him this seems to be all in slow motion. This is the magic of true lovers. He is not lost in her, he is found. Like the yin/yang symbol, there is no line dividing them only an observation of the closeness. A reflection. Connected and separate at the same time, one the eternal balance of the other.

He is an artist and is taking it all in. Pulled equally from desire. His desire to take her and his desire to capture the way that she moves, breathes, they way she enlivens the space around her…to attempt to capture her essence so that he can lay it on a canvas. As a painter you cannot paint what you do not know. To truly tap into artistry you must experience your expression before you can be satisfied with its unveiling. You must know the subject intimately. His desire to absorb more and to know more is overwhelming. Choosing seems an impossible task and an en devour he has spent lifetimes preparing for. Her movements hold memories of the past and the future. To him she is rhythmic and has an artistry in her gestures that his mind can not fathom, yet his heart and soul understood eternally. His sensibilities stunned and mesmerized. Being in control is his armor and it melts at the sight of her. The journey of a warrior is upon him.

She stands there for a moment feeling more at home than she has ever know. Naked, bold and finally free. He asks her to stand there a moment. When he asks her for something it’s not like a request or a demand…more of a shared mission of respect, from centuries of trust. He gets his camera and takes a few photos to attempt to capture what he sees with his eyes, what he senses and what he feels in her presence. Of course the photos are not enough. He must touch her with his hands, his lips, his body…his soul. The minutes turn in to hours, the moments themselves seem insatiable. Its a never ending circle of pleasure. There is a trust that is deeply rooted, rooted in an ancient love story.

This is the key to healthy sexuality. Trust. Trust that the other person sees you and hears you. Not just with their eyes and ears but with their senses. The arch of you body, the desire to give or receive, the sound of your response to their action and reaction is seen as a tantric dance. They sense your thoughts. What they take for themselves you receive, what you give you receive. A constant balancing flow of giving and receiving. A place of reflection so that each may know themselves intimately. A sacred space for lovers to unfold and reveal their own divine nature.

I Have a Particular Set of Skills

I received guidance regarding the Twin flame rays. Not so much about the particular color of the rays, but perhaps a broader perspective. I imagine a circle of white light and white reflects all colors. That light is divided into spaces similar to a clock, all the twin flame rays. Each with their own particular set of skills. I’m still unfolding this information but this is what I sense so far. 12 Rays, 12 zodiacs signs, 12 houses in astrology, 12 DNA strands…12 x 12 = 144 (referring to the 144,000). I am certain there is so much more to uncover here I’m just scratching the surface. The combination of Twin Flame pairs I am sure can be put on a graph based on certain demographics, not to mention our geographic locations. I am certain it is perfectly balanced (another project for another time). As you can view when you look at any color wheel all of the colors blend from one the the next. And many of the colors have an element of the other colors. There is no line separating one from the other. One color organically becomes the next. I envision Source energy as the base on that which we all rest on and nowhere on that space are we ever not connected. It is the illusion that blinds us for a while so that we may have experiences. And the more our own personal connection to source is strengthened the more we become illuminated. If we had all of the answers when we first arrived we would not have the lessons under our belt. We are here to guide humanity.


As the numbers on a clock change from one to another also does the ray change color, all attached to source energy, all on a particular mission. All in a sense responsible for their specific group of the collective consciousness. Every space in between representing that group they came to guide. For instance Blue Rays are the teachers. The teachers have many different areas that require guidance. For example, technology, the school system, the healthcare system, the political and environmental systems…just to name a few. And the teachers themselves are masters of words, experience and intuition… These tools assist in guiding others. Transmuting energy wherever we go, as do all Twin Flames. We teach trough energetic exchange, music, words, art and by example. So each Blue Ray will most likely be a different shade of blue until it turns to green or purple. If you’ll notice a lot of that color wheel, maybe even half has some element of blue.

Perhaps before we were awakened we were a jumble of madness in the center of that circle, fully engaged and experiencing life with the collective. For a while we seemed lost trying to blend in and follow leaders we knew in our heart were not on the divine path. And then we hear the call of our soul and realize we did not come here to follow we came here to lead. In order to lead someone, you must have walked the path yourself, acquired the light and the tools necessary to forge a path. How can we tell others how to evolve their soul, find their purpose and hold tight to their worthiness when seeking a partner, to trust their divine unfolding when we have not done the work ourselves. We as Twin Flames are living examples, sprinkled all over this magnificent planet guiding humanity to love, unity, kindness and peace. Each a rare example. A single dot on the new Earth holding the light for those who are seeking behind us. We must find that place within ourselves first. Each ray is not just one pure color, it is the perfect shade for your mission. As we awaken and the veils are lifted, we step out of the fog and move in the direction that calls to our soul. Walking forward, expanding consciousness, making the circle bigger. Our strides become longer and more confident and we end up at the outer edge of that circle.

At this time in the collective consciousness of humanity we have been in desperate need of masculine and feminine balancing. The masculine of the past seem to have not been coming from a divine presence. This, not so divine masculine, was not willing , nor in a place to just hand over power to the Divine Feminine, It was necessary to CLAIM IT!!!! Do you think we would hold this as an honor if they just said “Here, it is time we gave this to you.” There is a streak of rebel in me that is aware of that it is my duty and birth-rite to live in this balance, it is not to be given, that implies the other still holds the power. Now that we have tipped the scales of balance it is time for our Divine masculine to balance from the other side. This places us all strategically on this wheel. With a vision of the bigger picture, it is clearer to me than ever before. If we hold strong and anchor our position, there is no way that we fail to bring is planet in to the vibration of Love, Paradise, Balance, Unity, Technology and Peace. It is your job to walk your path as authentically as you can. You are defining your healing ray. Shattering old templates, healing DNA, verbal and psychological healing. Being an example of a life path that brings joy to your every day.

When we reach our goal to the outer edge of the circle it is easy recognize that every twin flame is different in some facet. So no one Twin Flame can stand in the same spot on the outer line of the circle. Humanity is in the center moving outward, walking next to us and behind us expanding…expanding towards God, Source, universe…Creator! Expanding towards LOVE!


Me and my Shadow

Hello my Beloved Shadow,

I often times live in my own little world of rainbows, sunshine, pixies, unicorns and LOVE!  It is not often that I allow you out to play in this magical world of mine.   I am just now noticing how dysfunctional that is.

By keeping you separate I realize I am keeping you in the dark…keeping you down.  In a sense keeping you dark.  I ask you for forgiveness.  I love you, thank you and I am sorry!   I realize you have just as much right to your time in the light!

Growing up it was what I remember seeing mostly in my environment, peoples dark…leading with insecurity, fear and control.   So as soon as I came to a place where I was managing my own life I ignored that part of myself.  What I saw from others seemed so out of control, so manic, like it took them over, from a place of unconsciousness.  This is not a judgement of others just an observation of consciousness.  I did not understand the lack of balance.  What I have done for decades is to stifle you.  To not allow you to breathe.  From a place of fear, ironically.   Afraid that I would express the same energy if I allowed you to surface.  When you did surface, to gasp for air it was not pleasant for either of us.  Me uncomfortable and you determined to be seen and heard.

Of course you were always there.  Every action laced with the echo of your energy.  I was only pretending that you were not there.  I realize now that I have created just as much of an imbalance as what I had previously seen in others. Because I do not speak out, you are silenced, non-verbal, but I feel you in my thoughts and through my judgments.  Just because I deny you does not mean the you are not present.  In shoving you down I did not hear you.  I became so good at ignoring your presence and dismissing you that I didn’t even realize I was missing your gifts.  You were offering at times, a warning, an awareness, a negativity or a pain you may have recognized in another.   I was meant to hear you, process your observation and act accordingly.  I am humbled at my own blindness.  Surprised to have found you attached to me the whole time.  My lovely shadow, I ask you to join me in the light and we can walk forward together the rest of the way.  You are the Yin to my Yang and I am not complete without your discernment.

Helping hands. Vector illustration on black background
Helping hands. Vector illustration on black background